Papers, Please

This post is a shameless attempt to piggyback on a better article about the history of one of Yes, Prime Minister's best and most well known routines.

Over at dirtyfeed.org John J. Hoare has written an entertaining and detailed history of the "who reads the papers," routine and tracked it all the way back to its first known appearance in a 1973 diary piece in the FINANCIAL TIMES - the paper read by the people who own the country. It was a well-circulated and well-honed piece by the time it was adapted for Yes, Prime Minister by Antony Jay and Jonathan Lynn having previously appeared on Three of a Kind and Dave Allen at Large, and circulated as far afield as California; but look, just go and read John's article. Okay?

When I read John's piece, I immediately thought of this letter from CRASH issue 13 (February 1985 page 76)

It's a good variation on the theme although obviously it can't end on anything even close to the punchline of the original. A couple of issues later CRASH printed a second guide riffing on the same subject from "Penfold" of Appley Bridge near Wigan.

Some of these references are lost to the mists of time. I've no idea what Penfold's "elephant's brain" comment means. 

[18/08/2023 Although, as Anonymous points out in the comment below. It probably refers to Commodore's series of adverts featuring an elephant]

Andrew Hill's comment about "the Goblin's dungeon," must refer to The Hobbit which unsurprisingly featured a dungeon owned and run on behalf of the Goblin King, and was notoriously difficult to escape from. I managed it once and then I couldn't get across the fast black river in Mirkwood.

Here's the thing I've artlessly concealed. The Yes Minister episode was broadcast on 23rd December 1987. Nearly three years after these letters were printed. One of the things I like about John's article is how it touches on the way the original joke spread in pre-internet days. There are a couple of references to people first encountering it via a fax or badly-photocopied piece of paper. Andrew Hill's letter demonstrates this perfectly. He's obviously encountered the original, adapted it, and sent it in to CRASH (and I wouldn't be surprised if editor Roger Kean recognised the source material given his previous journalism work in London) and then Penfold has read Andrew's letter, adapted that, sent it in, and the joke continues to mutate and spread, and here I am thirty eight years later doing it all over again. I wouldn't be surprised to learn there are modern variations based on what websites people read.

Do you know what "the elephant's brain" is/was? Leave a comment, or email shoutingintoawell@yahoo.com and follow me on Twitter @shammountebank. Normal service will be briefly resumed with the next update in two weeks.